My First Painting…
So I have been thinking a lot about death lately. Mainly because the older you get the more people you know start dying. It is a simple fact. I have felt the pain of a few losses lately, for both myself and others. In trying to understand, or maybe just not jump off a tall building, I have some thoughts.
Life is short. Life is fragile. Life is a gift and a strange gift in that we have no idea of the duration of our gift. I could fall asleep on the sofa and never wake up again. This can lead to very morbid thoughts and in the last few months I have had plenty of those, I won’t share, they aren’t of any use to anyone. My useful (I hope) thoughts are…given that life ends at a random moment for each of us, it’s a darn good idea to use each of those moments fully…no really.
I remember the first time I created an abstract painting. It was awful, but I stood in the rain and wept. It touched something deep, very deep. I was moved to tears by the emotion of it and I have not looked back since. I work at a bank during the day, but I paint as much as I can, and have had art shows and sold work and am generally having a blast doing it.
What moves you? If you love to dance…I am not saying that you should quit your job as a stock broker and run off to join a dance troupe…unless that is what you want. If it is and you don’t have a clue how to dance, you might want to start with lessons. Maybe buy a video to dance to alone somewhere, wherever you can have the space. If you want to sing…start singing. If your friends don’t like it, do it in the shower. Basically what I am saying is that doing what makes your heart feel more open will also make you happier in your job at the bank…or wherever you are. If you want to paint, that’s easy, get paints and something to paint on and have at it.
My point is that you can do these things just to make your heart dance. Over time you can sort out if they are things you want to share with others or whether you want to use them to get to know yourself better. Either way, you can start doing them right now, and get the benefit of feeling more relaxed and in touch with your own heart.
