Tabor Arts

So imagine if you will a room. There are two people in this room, both of them are me. One of me, the one-that-is-connected-to-everything and knows everything is watching the other me. The other me is writhing around, suffering, unsure of what comes next and whether or not I can make it as an artist.

The other me is drawing trees and flowers and painting abstracts and wondering why suddenly all the larger pieces I have been working on look like crap. The other me is at an artistic crossroads and the me-that-is-connected is laughing, she is laughing because she knows everything will work out and that I am in the perfect place.

She throws out “why don’t you dye your hair black and wear some of that really pasty make-up, you’ve got the angst for it, I really think you should go for it”. The me that is writhing glares at her from the floor.

I wonder if I should post this, it isn’t pretty, it isn’t nice. I am really at a crossroads with my self and my work. Will I move past it and learn what I need to? Of course I will, I haven’t stopped creating during this process and I won’t.

Are the dogs of doubt nipping at my heels with sharp, pointy teeth? Yep, they sure are. I don’t know if this is true for all artists, but for this one, the self doubt gets pretty loud sometimes. So it is time to regroup.

It is also (apparently) time to take a really hard look at myself as an artist and make some discoveries. One of the things I am looking at is what do I really want to paint? I can paint anything I want to with enough study and work.

What do I love? What do I really want to communicate? Who am I? What do I bring to the table that is unique enough to separate my work from the pazillions of painters out there….news at 11.

I decided to write this and post it because the suffering and the doubts are as much a part of my journey as the successes and the finished paintings. After all, I am an unfinished work of art and will be until I draw my last breath. As I approach the end of my 45th year on this orb, it seems appropriate somehow to engage in this inquiry and work through where I want to go as an artist and therefore will be going from here.

Don’t we paint because we aren’t good with words?

Or maybe that isn’t true…

I am blogging for reasons unknown to me really. I paint for similar reasons. I read somewhere that people are interested in painters and their processes. Seriously? Of course I also read somewhere that I should just be myself and find the things that make my art unique. How can I do that if I don’t know what those are?

I’m a smart ass, is that something?

As far as processes go, some days I fling paint at the canvas and some days I work less than an inch from it for hours at a time. Until my eyes won’t focus anymore. Some days I fling other things at the canvas…

Networking for Artists and Art Collectors. Check this blog out, if you like art, you will like Nicholas Forrest.

My favs from this list are:

http://www.myartspace.com

myartspace is an online community with more than 50,000 artists, collectors, students, teachers, gallerists, curators, critics and art appreciators across the world. myartspace is free and open to all. Members can create a profile of themselves and upload an unlimited quantity of their work including images, music, audio narration and video.

http://www.artslant.com

ArtSlant.com, the #1 contemporary art network, launched in Los Angeles in February, 2007. It is a sophisticated website that brings a local and in-depth focus to the contemporary art scene. ArtSlant’s profiles put the spotlight on everyone in the art community. Artists, art professionals, art orgs, and art lovers can have their own showcase to exhibit their work, expose their business or talk about their involvement in the scene. In our community you will also find picks and reviews, jobs and opportunities, schools, blogs, and groups.

http://www.artlog.com

Artlog is the place for you to connect with folks, share your work and discover innovative new art & design. Artlog is for art makers, insiders, organizations and art lovers. This global community of art lovers, artists and industry insiders is only as vibrant as you make it. So follow interesting artists, make professional connections, post your work and let your voice be heard – “If you see something, say something!

http://www.artbistro.com

ArtBistro brings members of the visual art community together to network, advance careers, and to foster a community with exclusive benefits where information about artists and designers is provided by artists and designers.